Customer Service

What has happened to customer service? Being a Vegetarian can't be that unusual these days, can it? Maybe it's because I live in a big meat state such as Texas. Can Texans absolutely not fathom the possibility that you can have a good meal without meat? Not all restaurants have vegetarian fare, so I've learned to be flexible and have begun asking restaurants to hold the meat on some dishes. Most are acommodating but they need to train their waitstaff properly. Case in point, and this has actually happened to me several times and with different waitstaff at different restaurants. I'm at a restaurant for lunch and I want something more than a salad. Great they have a turkey sandwhich so I'll just ask them to hold the turkey. That should be easy, so that's what I do.

" I'll have the turkey sandwhich, but hold the turkey please. " This request is followed by silence and a bewildered look from the waiter and then...

" Ah ma'am, you don't want any turkey at all? "

"That's right, I don't eat meat. So just hold the turkey, please. "

"Ah ma'am, are you sure? The turkey's the main part of the sandwhich? And the turkey's really good. I can put it on a plate on the side for you. Are you sure you don't want me to do that?"

"Yes, I'm sure...I don't eat meat and it's a perfectly nice sandwhich without the turkey. "

I get one more bewildered look from the waiter until he finally acknowledges my request and moves on to the rest of the table's orders. The waiter finishes taking the orders and walks away and it's at this point that I begin to relax and my companions chuckle over the whole exchange. Okay, so I've seemingly convinced the waiter that I don't eat meat. Sheesh, you'd think I had three heads or something with the looks I get. So I think I'm in the clear and a few moments later he returns to the table and asks,

" Ah ma'am I forgot to ask you earlier, would you like bacon on that sandwhich? "

SERENITY NOW!!! I think to myself. Patience Renee, if you lose your cool, you're gonna wind up with a nice big juicy spit sandwhich.

I take a calming breath as I feel the frustration beginning to bubble up and I reply as calmly as possible, "No thanks, I don't eat meat. "

He nods and walks away. I roll my eyes and my lunch companions laugh. Sadly this has happened more than once. Even more sadly, it's happened to me at a vegetarian friendly cafe. None of the vegetarian fare appealed to me, so I asked for a sandwhich without the meat. Even the vegetarian friendly restaurant waitstaff gave me the business.

I can't help feeling annoyed that I have to jump through hoops just because I asked them to hold the meat. The funny thing is that I know that if I were to have asked for twice the amount of turkey...the waiter wouldn't have batted an eye and probably would have informed me that there would be an extra charge.

The thing that bothers me the most is that too many of the waiters and waitresses border on being argumentative about it. Why is asking to hold the meat some sort of tacit invitation to debate me? Why is it if I ask to hold the pickles or something they don't bat an eye....but ask to hold the meat and you'd think I was asking for something illegal?

I have noticed though that this seems to happen mostly with sandwhiches. Is there some law somewhere that says all sandwhiches must contain meat? If so, then I've been breaking this law all my life even when I was a meat eater. Could I have been ridiculed all these years for eating tomato sandwhiches? Or what about cucumber sandwhiches...surely that would earn me some sandwhich scorn?

I need to take a new approach. Maybe I should ask what the difference is to them between asking to hold the pickles and asking to hold the meat. Better yet, I think I need to start telling them that for every second they stand there dabating me, their tip will be reduced. If I do that though, I'm afraid it will earn me the dreaded spit sandwhich! So I think I need to start asking to speak to the manager. The manager needs to train and educate the staff...not me. But I won't ask for the manager until after I've eaten my sandwhich!

I just want a sandwhich without the damn turkey! Oh well, I'll try to see the positive side. It could be much worse you know, I could be a Vegan!