Pleasant Dreams?

Pleasant Dreams? Ordinarily I would answer this question with yes. I usually look forward to sleeping and dreaming. My dreams usually provide me with a certain amount of pleasurable escapism from my daily stresses. But what has been going on the last two nights?

This morning I awoke from another disturbing dream. Since I awoke from this dream, the imagery and associated symbolism were clear to me. And I've had variations of this particular dream when I've been under stress in my waking life. I was on an airplane, and sitting at the back. I had been asleep on the plane when I suddenly woke up to see out the window that we were flying barely above the ground. In my dream, the plane nearly skidded the top of a very long pier and the pilot held on until we were over the water. The plane began to climb steeply and we tore through some power lines. The pilot announced that he was going to have to look for a place to land, but by this time we were over water. At this point, I asked the people sitting near me on the plane what had happened to the plane, and they very tersely told me that since I had been sleeping during the initial crisis, they weren't going to tell. Needless to say, this upset me in my dreamscape and I begged them to tell me while the plane continued to struggle on. I awoke just before it crashed.

The symbolism of this dream was easy to decipher especially since I've had variations of this dream in the past. I wasn't paying attention, and consequently while I wasn't paying attention events and/or my life spun out of control. And not just out of control, but on a crash course.

When I'm under stress, the life out of control and paying attention themes are common to my dreams. The disturbing dream from the night before last involved someone very close to me and the dream was about them deceiving, betraying, and lying to me, and I didn't see these events until it was too late. This is the dream that's been with me for a couple of days now, and I think it's this one that affected my concentration yesterday. In this case, it's not so much the themes of the dream, but who was starring in the dream.

Dreams aren't literal or mine aren't anyway. But I can't shake the dream from the other night. Why did my mind choose someone so close to me to star in this dream of betrayal and deceit? I dunno.

I noticed that the disturbing dreams began after I visited with Sarah and the twinklets. I've been terribly worried about her these last two weeks and I have been feeling a bit helpless in that regard too. So since I saw that she is really okay on Wednesday, are these dreams just a pressure valve release for the stress that I've been under? But I can't see how the betrayal dream would apply to my worries and fears for Sarah. Could that be something else?

Things have been stressful of late with my other business partner, Brad. And distrust and deceit have been themes with him in the very recent past. But days before Sarah delivered the girls, all three of us had a meeting and seemingly resolved, at least for the time being, the trust issues and other concerns that Sarah and I were having with Brad. Or am I just kidding myself on that one and my mind is telling me so with the very disturbing betrayal dream?

At a minimum, I think I've been under more stress than I allowed myself to think. I tend to be so self-reliant and determined that maybe things piled up on me and now my mind is giving me a warning. Or maybe it is just a pressure valve of release now that I see the danger that Sarah was in appears to be over for the most part. And maybe part of it is that I expect so much of myself in everything...mentally and physically. Maybe I need to give myself a break and cut myself some slack. I cut the slack for other people, why can't and won't I do it for myself? I dunno.

Some relaxation is in order though. And a little more introspection. I can only hope for pleasant dreams tonight....