Superficiality....Round 2

Okaaaay...I feel like I'm not done with this topic and I feel the need to expand and clarify my views on superficiality. What ultimately prompted my tirade on superficiality is an article that I read in the paper yesterday morning. The article discussed this new up and coming social class known as the "Gold Collar" class, which is comprised of primarily twenty-somethings who live at home still with their parents and usually work service jobs. One of the experts who has started to study this increasing group says that these young adults decided to forego college not because they think it's too hard, but because they don't want to expend the effort. The gold collar class has champagne tastes on a beer budget according to the expert, and focus almost all of their energies on obtaining designer luxuries and spending time in high end clubs flaunting what they have. One young woman stated that it makes her happy to buy expensive luxury items. The article basically concluded that this class of self-involved people with little or no practical skills pose a potential concern to the future of our society. If we have all these unskilled, unmotivated big spenders who will be leading government and businesses when their time comes to step up to the plate? The twenty-somethings interviewed for the article all plainly stated that they love luxury stuff and they like the way obtaining these things makes them feel...namely like big shots for awhile. They readily admitted in the article to focusing their lives on the pursuit of luxury to the exclusion of all else. Okay, if all you can talk about are your designer clothes, your pricey car, and your expensive electronics, then yes in my book that makes you superficial. And this seems to be a growing trend. That scares me.

What do I think is a well rounded individual? I think having a variety of interests is key to being well rounded. Do you have to be college educated to be well rounded? Nope. I don't think so. I think that having more than one interest is the key. Well rounded individuals aren't all the same. That's the beauty of life...differences. Can you be a genius and not well rounded? Yep. For example, a piano prodigy can live, eat and breathe the piano to the exclusion of all else and while it's wonderful to have such fabulous talent if the piano prodigy doesn't develop other interests then I believe they're shortchanging themselves in life. And they, therefore, are not a well rounded individual. Once again, a variety of interests is a good thing for all of us.

I really try not to be judgemental about anyone or anything. However the key word there is try. And I do mean that I try, but I know that I'm not always successful. I believe that it isn't possible for anyone to be competely non-judgemental. It's too ingrained in us as humans and served a purpose in our evolutionary survival. So all we can do is try our best to be non-judgemental. But you know what, depending on the circumstances being judgemental is not necessarily a bad thing. For example, imagine a woman walking alone on a fairly deserted city street in the early evening and ahead she's sees a group walking toward her but she can't make out what they look like. But it looks like a group and since she's alone she's potentially concerned for her safety. As she gets closer she's sees that it's a group of about 5 or 6 men...some white some black...and she's sees that they're all dressed in business suits and are clean cut. She relaxes for the most part, but not completely and continues on past the men. How about a slightly different scenario? Let's say she sees a group of white men approaching, but she's sees that they appear to be young adults and dressed in punky or gang type clothes. At that point she feels afraid and decides to walk into the first available store to avoid the young guys. Or what if it were a bunch of teenage girls, but dressed in jeans and t-shirts? She may not have even flinched. So what happened here? That woman made a judgement of the group ahead of her and made a decision about her potential safety based on that quick judgement. Could she have been wrong? You bet. She judged the young punk looking guys and deemed them to be potentially threatening. And she decided that the teenage girls were not a threat. In truth, she could have misjudged both or all three, but she had to make a quick judgement based on circumstances. And we all do make these kinds of judgements to varying degrees. We've all been wrong at one time or another about our first impressions of people. That's human nature. All we can do is to try our best to judge fairly. And when we're wrong we should correct our mistake or at the very least not repeat it. Unfortunately, some people don't succeed with this and consequently their being judgemental becomes the cornerstone of their existence until they ultimately become hateful people. That's just wrong, and sad too.

So if I meet someone at a party who talks about the fancy neighborhood that they live in, the exclusive school that their kids go to, their troubles with their luxury car, and so on to the exclusion of all else. And if I notice that while I'm speaking they're not listening, but rather they look like they're only waiting for their turn to talk....I will probably make a preliminary judgement that this person is superficial. Does that mean that I won't become friends with them. Does that mean that I won't give them a chance? Nope that's not what that means. Is it possible that there's more to them than meets the eye? Yep. It's possible. Do I have any superficial friends? Yep. Brad is pretty superficial and he has interests other than status and materialism. But his superficiality comprises a good portion of his make-up, and I admit his superficiality bothers me. Is he a close friend? I'd have to say no. Why? Hmm, I'd have to say his superficiality is a big part of it because I think it limits the depth of friendship.

But what's important to me may not be important to you. And that's okay. That's what makes life spicey and interesting. Some people are not bothered by superficiality in the least, but they may find judgemental people to be much more bothersome. That's life.

So I have to admit that superficiality bothers me. I don't understand how superficial people can be happy only skating along the surface of life seemingly oblivious to others, to thinking, to wondering, to imagining and to living fully and completely. It makes me sad to see people not desiring to look beneath the surface of life. But when you take on all of life, you take on both the good and the bad..and the neat and the messy. I believe that on the surface, superficial people are trying to avoid unhappiness and bad things by surrounding themselves with the material trappings of happiness. But it's all a facade. Like Oz. What appears on the surface to be fabulous is nothing more than a fantasy perpetrated by a small man hiding behind a curtain. Dorothy found out in time that her happiness was not to be found in some fake fantasy, but back home. Home is ourselves and within ourselves. We can only find true happiness within by fully embracing all of life and all the mess that comes with it. Sadly I fear that superficial people dwell in the land of Oz.