Disappointment...

Disappointment is an utterly crappy feeling. Blech. I told myself that I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't get this, and yet somehow I am. I'll get over it...this I know with certainty. It's just been a very long time that I've felt so disappointed in not getting something. Since I told myself beforehand that it really would be okay if it didn't come through, I'm really surprised by my reaction. Was I lying to myself? No, I don't think that's it. I think I was just kidding myself. And the more I think about why I'm disappointed, it's because getting it would have kept my mind occupied with fun and challenging things for a good while.

So I'm not gonna deny that I'm disappointed. Sometimes the best way to get over something is through it. So I'll go ahead and feel disappointed....not to wallow in it, but just to acknowledge it. I know in my head that not getting something isn't the end of the world....and it isn't, but my heart needs just a couple days to catch up.