A National Socks & Underwear Program

I just returned from a shopping trip where I had to buy socks and underwear. I hate having to buy that stuff, and I don't think that I could be the only one who hates it, can I? There's just something about having to spend money on what I deem disposable everyday essentials that I have trouble with. Maybe it's the cost of these items that I find so irritating. Have you seen how much companies charge for a lousy pair of socks? It's ridiculous, and I'm gonna have to throw them away in a few months once they wear out anyway. And I almost don't even want to mention how ridiculously priced women's unmentionables are. Now I'm not cheap by any means. I have no trouble spending $100 on a pair of shoes. I guess I just have a mental block in this area though. How can a teeny tiny bit of material cost so much? It seems that companies price these items in inverse proportion to the amount of material. How can a skimpy little thong cost four times as much as a white pair of granny panties with three times the amount of material? The thong has a fraction of the material as the granny panties. Have you seen how much material there is in those granny panties? You could carry groceries in some of those, but they cost a fraction of the price of a thong! I sense a conspiracy among underwear manufacturers. They prey upon people's vanities and desires to be fashionable. Luckily I don't have that problem! My underwear cheapness prevents me from going overboard and spending too much on a bra or panties. Don't get me wrong, I like sexy lacy bras as much as the next woman, but I don't want to have to spend very much money for one. And I don't think I should have to either. Come on there's hardly anything to that little skimpy bra, why does it cost so much? I just wait for a really good sale to get my lacy bras. Of course I think the sale price that I'll pay should be the regular price. I do have a smidge of vanity though that prevents me from buying those white granny panties. Yes, they are the best buy for the money, but I just can't do it. For some reason I gravitate to the color purple for my underwear and bras, and I've noticed that to get my sensible little purple cotton bikinis I've got to buy a whole pack of other colors and quite often the manufacturer sneaks three pairs of white panties that I wouldn't buy in the first place. So now I really think I spent too much for my purple cotton bikinis because to get them I had to buy three pairs of white panties that I didn't want! It's a conspiracy I tell ya! Why can't I buy a whole pack of purple or even blue cotton bikinis for a reasonable price? Why?

I think the reason is because there aren't enough underwear cheap people like me. Case in point, my friend, Sarah, told me a very amusing underwear story a while back. Several years ago she and her husband rented out the room in their garage to a very nice fellow. Sometimes this guy's girlfriend would stay the night. Well one day the girlfriend called Sarah and asked her if she had seen a pair of panties that she had left at her boyfriend's. Right before the girlfriend called Sarah had come in from the backyard carrying an elastic waist band that she found. Her dogs have a penchant for stealing and eating fragrant unmentionables! That part of the story didn't faze me since my dogs raid the kitty litter for poopsicles! Anyway the woman was frantic because they were a $60 pair of imported silk panties! As she was holding the elastic band, Sarah calmly told the woman that no she hadn't seen them, but she'd certainly look! Naturally later Sarah reported that she couldn't find them anywhere. Now most folks would be focused on the amusing and gross dog part of that story, but all Sarah and I could think of was who the hell spends $60 on a pair of panties!! Let me tell you, I better be getting a whole year's worth of panties for that!

So this got me to thinking. These underwear prices are simply out of control kinda like health insurance and we all need health insurance just like we all need underwear and socks. Okay some people may not wear underwear, but I bet they still wear socks! There's been a push for a while now for a national health care program. I'm not sure it's gonna happen, but we do have to do something. Well I think socks and underwear prices are out of control too, and I think manufacturers much like health insurance companies are taking advantage. So I propose a National Socks & Underwear Program. Everyone would be provided with decent quality whatever color they wanted within reason cotton underwear. It would come in briefs, bikinis, string bikinis or thongs. You want imported silk? Sorry you've got to buy that yourself! You know I think this is a really good idea. I think I should call my congressman right now....