Unknown Effects

The weather has been beautiful this past week and I've finally gotten the chance to get out to hike after a few weeks absence. I think the lack of fresh air and exercise have contributed to my recent case of the mild blues. But I digress.

Today while hiking, I got to thinking about an incident that occurred this past summer while I was hiking...actually more specifically while I was running. There are some sections of the trails that I like to run and in particular there's this quarter of a mile long somewhat treacherous hill that I love running down. It's long and meandering and steep in some places, and it consists of compacted dirt, loose gravel, and exposed bedrock in some spots. The gravel and bedrock as well as the grade in some spots make it a bit treacherous to run, and thereby making it exciting to me. I've been running that hill for more than two years and I've gotten to where I practically run like the wind down it. My 18 year old son certainly hikes the trails much faster than me and can run faster than me, but even he concedes that I own that downhill even against him. To be sure, I've slid and stumbled a few times over the last two years, but I always managed to catch myself until one day last summer.

The funny thing is that I had just started running down the hill along the easiest part and had only gone about 20 yards when all of a sudden a rock jumped up from the ground and tripped me! Actually my toe just caught the top of a rock jutting up from the ground. And you know what? Time really does slow down when you're in the middle of an accident or other trauma. I tried to catch my balance but it was to no avail and I took a nasty tumble. My left knee and left elbow bore the brunt of the crash and luckily the water bottle that I held in my right hand protected that hand. It hurt like hell, but mostly the shock of the tumble kicked in. I stood up and noticed that both my elbow and knee were bleeding pretty freely. I pulled the gravel bits and other debris out of my skin and put some weight on that knee to test how bad I banged it. It was tender but overall seemed okay, and just bloody. I pulled a couple of tissues out of my pocket and dabbed the wounds dry as best as possible. And what did I do next? Well I guess the adrenaline from the incident kicked in and I continued on my hike and I actually ran slowly down the hill the rest of the way. I actually completed the whole hike as scheduled and with being on an adrenaline high, at the end of my hike I went back to the hill to hike up it to run down it one last time. The adrenaline high lasted long enough for me to stop at the store with my knee lightly bleeding to buy some hydrogen peroxide and antibiotic cream. By the time I got home, the adrenaline high had worn off and my knee and elbow were throbbing. In fact they throbbed so much I thought for sure that anyone could see the throbbing. I cleaned myself up and noted later that night that my knee swelled to twice its normal size. I didn't hike again for at least a few days and it was a week or more before I tried to run the hill again.

My knee and elbow healed although my knee did get a bit infected which is why I think I have a dandy new scar on my left knee. Since I got right back up and started running that hill the very same day, I figured that I wouldn't sustain any ill effects from my fall. I figured and rightly so I think, that it was one of those things...one moment of not paying attention. I figured that the only lasting effect of my tumble was going to be the scar on my knee.

Well today while running down that hill I realized that I was wrong. I'm not the same. I noticed that all these months since the fall, I've been a bit tentative while running down it. I haven't really been able to let loose and fly like I did in the past. Ironically I think I'm in more danger now of falling by being so tentative and a bit cautious. I'm not sure I can go back to the way I was, but I need to try. I didn't realize how much fun I derived from my personal version of an extreme sport. But I want to be able to run like the wind down it again.

So all these months I had just assumed that the fall only had lasting physical effects...namely my scarred knee. But it unexpectedly it affected my psyche too. So that got me to thinking while I continued on with my hike. What other events, namely emotional events, have we each experienced that we shrugged off as being a blip in the radar but in actuality has had lasting effects on how we act, think, feel, and interact with others. Maybe a past event that occurred with a friend or a teacher or a parent was shrugged off only to have affected us more than we realize. So perhaps when we each wonder sometimes why we act or think in a certain way, maybe we can't trace it to a specific defining event perhaps it was something that we didn't take seriously at the time but it had lasting and unforeseen effects.

I'm not sure I have a conclusion here. I guess if I do have a conclusion it would be that I need to take care not to so readily shrug something off or discount its potential effects on me. Oh and one last thing, I need to pick up my feet when I run downhill!

The Home Stretch...

As nice as Christmas was, I'm just as glad it's over for another year. I'm drowning in Christmas clutter. Clutter really drives me bananas and too much clutter adversely affects my mood. So I'm feeling pretty grouchy this week!

All the kitchen counters are overflowing with what seems to be a neverending supply of Christmas treats. To be sure, I have a gigantic sweet tooth but I think I hit my limit this year. I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but if I see another piece of fudge or another Christmas cookie, I think I'm gonna puke!

Thank goodness we're in the homestretch. I'm so ready to pack away this holiday and get on with the new year. All the holiday clutter around my house is really kicking my urge to purge into overdrive. I've already started walking around the house asking myself why we have so much stuff. This is the time of year when the stores put all those storage bins on sale because people need places to store all their brand new crap. No storage bins for me. I'm already planning for the next big donation drive in the neighborhood and this year I think I'm gonna have an extra big donation.

Ah yes. Christmas is over and now it's time for my annual purge and donate drive. It's gonna be the biggest one yet! Minimalism is looking better and better to me with each passing year.

A Christmas Story

Christmas is almost here and I must say that now that the boys are older it just isn't the same anymore. And speaking of older, Nickolas is 16 and Erik will be 19 in February. Where the hell did the time go?! Oh memories of Christmases past, and I have so many wonderful and funny memories.

Let's see Erik was either in second or third grade right at about the time that kids start hearing the terrible rumors that Santa isn't real. Well Erik thought that he'd put this notion to the test. He asked me point blank one day about Santa's existence and I replied that of course Santa is real. He looked a little skeptical and informed me that parents probably have to tell their kids that even if he isn't real. He further explained to me that since Santa is supposed to bring kids whatever they want for Christmas that he devised a plan to determine whether Santa was real or not by asking Santa for something really, really big. Naturally he didn't want to tell me what it was just in case I was in on some kind of Santa conspiracy, but I managed to find out later that he planned on asking the mall Santa for One Million Dollars! And if he got the money for Christmas then he was going to ignore the Santa naysayers and continue to believe. And if he didn't, then no more believing for him.

A challenge! This was going to be fun, and I devised a plan of my own.

On Christmas morning, Erik received a box filled with a million dollars in cash and a note from Santa!

Okay so the money was actually play money, but I'll have you know there was exactly one million dollars of play money! He was momentarily disappointed that the money wasn't real, but then he read the note from Santa that explained how Santa appreciated Erik's resourcefulness, but he can't really give kids absolutely anything they want, but Santa wanted to make sure that Erik believed that he was real so he gave him the play money. Well Erik was thrilled with his note from Santa even though I think he was a bit skeptical, but as he explained years later he really wanted a reason to continue believing so he was both thrilled and relieved to get the gift.

And once he could no longer continue believing, he was a wonderful big brother and didn't spill the beans to Nickolas so we had a couple extra years of Santa in our house.

Santa hasn't been to our house in years and I kinda miss him. I'll have to wait for the next generation for Santa's return. But until then, despite some eye rolling I'll probably still ask the boys if they hear Santa's sleigh on the roof because I want to believe.

Merry Christmas!

Holy Crap!

What is up with the weather this year? Just a week ago, it was 80 degrees here and today as I write this it's 39 degrees. That's crazy!

It seems like we had an extra long and hot summer. And to top it off, we're 15 inches below normal in rainfall. That might not sound like much, but for San Antonio that's 50% of our average yearly rainfall.

We've had maybe three weeks of weather in the 60s and 70s, but we haven't really had any Fall weather. And now cold. My body can't handle the cold anymore. I grew up in a northern climate. I walked to school five miles uphill each way in the snow! No more of that for me. I'll be crossing any and all cold weather cities off my potential places to live.

I bet my cousin is having a blast on her vacation in Hawaii, and she's probably snickering about all the poor suckers having to endure this unexpected cold!

I'm off to make some hot tea and to dream of warm sand beaches.