Getting Older and Getting Better...

During my channel surfing earlier, I happened to catch Jodie Foster on Inside the Actors' Studio. Okay I gotta say that Jodie definitely qualifies as an intelligent celebrity...and one would ordinarily think that intelligent celebrity is an oxymoron. But let me tell you, she ain't an oxymoron!!! No way! No how! And her intelligence is much more than her education. She's bright, well-spoken, funny, insightful, and thoughtful, too. I liked her interview so much I could have immediately watched it again. and again....and again... Can you tell I kinda like her?!

There's something else I noticed too while her early to recent film clips were being shown. I think she's getting better looking as she gets older. I think she's one of those people that have to grow into their looks. And I think she looooooks gooooood!!

Until recently I hadn't realized how much of a crush I apparently have on her. And here I thought I've watched both Contact and The Panic Room a bazillion times because I like those movies so well!! Well I did really like those movies, but me thinks I've had a crush and didn't know it!!

Hey Cuz, when are those Jodie t-shirts gonna be ready??!! I gotta have one!

Geena Who?!

Raising Hellions...

Last night for some reason, Erik and Nickolas began reminiscing with each other about their childhood exploits. After a short while they decided to include me in on the fun. I heard some of their stories for the first time last night, and for a few of them I was soooo glad I didn't know anything about a particular story at the time.

Erik told me from his point of view the day he learned and used the word, motherfucker. Apparently my kindergardener learned it from a second grader on the bus on the way home from school. He told me that later that same day he asked me if he could do something, and I told him no. Naturally any kid that asks to do something almost never takes the first no as the final word, so of course he badgered me a bit. At one point in this struggle of wills he was standing at the stop of the stairs while I was at the bottom. Immediately after my last and final NO, he looked at me and shouted, "Mommy, you're a Motherfucker!". Erik said he immediately thought uh-oh when he saw the shocked expression on my face as well as my amazing speed up the stairs!! He also remembers being grounded along with the big talk he received about language. What I remember most is how his three year old brother began running gleefully through the house shouting motherfucker, motherfucker! Grounding and discussion do not work with a three year old. I held my breath for at least a month every time I took Nickolas to the grocery store. I was fearful that as soon as I let my guard down he'd start shouting Motherfucker through the store! Ah kids, ya gotta love 'em!!

One of my favorite stories happened around the same time that the boys acquired their new language skills! It happened the morning after we saw Home Alone II at the movie theater. The boys always woke up at the crack of dawn so if I could sleep until 7am, I thought I’d won the lottery! By the time they were five and three years old, I had worked out a pretty good system for the mornings that enabled me to doze a few extra minutes. At night I’d put cereal in bowls and individual milk servings in the fridge so that if the boys wanted to they could get their own breakfast in the morning, and I could doze a few extra minutes while my mommy radar listened in. Any parent can tell you that the mommy radar pings when it’s either too quiet or too noisy because either one usually means that the kiddos are doing something that they shouldn’t be.

So the morning after the movie, I heard the boys get up very, very early and go downstairs. At first the noises were as I expected, but as I dozed I noticed that the boys were getting louder and more animated until I heard Erik yell to Nickolas something about Marv and Harry. Marv and Harry were the inept bad guys from Home Alone II. So what did I do? I hollered downstairs and asked Erik what they were doing. He hollered back that he and his brother were protecting me from Marv and Harry. Uh-oh! Time to get up, no more dozing for me the Mommy radar just pinged off the scale!! So as I got downstairs and turned the corner toward the kitchen I noticed that some rope had been tied from the pantry closet to the garage door. And as I walked into the kitchen I saw another little booby trap or two, but before I could say anything I felt my socked feet sticking to the floor so that I could hardly walk. Erik proudly informed me that he and Nickolas had poured glue all over the floor to trap Marv and Harry! Now this was one of those parental moments where you’re both irritated and delighted at the same time. Unfortunately it wasn’t even 7 am yet so my irritation flashed first and I started to yell at the boys. Both boys were immediately upset and Erik told me that they were just trying to protect me from the bad guys. Oh hell, I felt like such a heel. I immediately apologized for yelling at them and asked them to help me cleanup which they both gladly did. As we were cleaning, I couldn’t help but giggle at their cleverness. And I was partially to blame anyway leaving them to their own devices. Plus Erik didn’t understand how I could be upset since as he explained to me it’s not like they messed with the stove or anything else that they knew they shouldn’t touch. And they were trying to protect me from the bad guys, so how could I be upset about that?! Indeed, how could I?!

So throughout the years there have been plenty of other instances where the boys would do something wrong yet clever or creative, and I would be instantly torn between disciplining them and laughing. In fact quite often I wasn’t very successful in reining myself in, so while I would be trying to verbally discipline them they would point out that I was smiling so what they did couldn’t have been so awful. Doh, I am such a marshmallow!

But we made it with plenty of trial and error as well as with lots of laughs and love. They’ve both turned into fine young men. And one day they may have kids of their own, and that makes me happy because I know that my future grandkids will avenge me one day!!

Commander in Chief...

Okay so I don't really watch much tv except for HGTV on the weekend, and channel surfing now and then. During one of my channel surfing days, I saw the ad for Geena Davis' new show Commander in Chief. I'm not a big Geena Davis fan, but I admit the idea of a show about the first American woman President intrigued me.

The show was on last night and I must say that it was a bit over the top with the drama and the music was distracting and overly dramatic yet despite these things I still kinda liked it. I really liked Geena Davis' performance. She gave a very relaxed and understated performance which I found compelling. I'm sure that her performance was tied to how her character, Madam President, was written. I like this President.

This President's adversaries of course don't. In this first episode, they made the greatest error of mistaking her kindness for weakness. Like far too many people, her adversaries have mistakenly concluded that strength and compassion are mutually exclusive. Added to these qualities are her intelligence, thoughtfulness, and calmness. Did I mention that I liked this character?

It was refreshing to see the first woman President not written in a stereotype fashion such as an iron handed ruler or ice queen.

I've never been a big Geena Davis fan, but I may become one. I think she's in her late 40s and let me tell you she looks good!! I'll probably watch the show again next week, and I have a feeling that Ms. Davis may be starring in some of my upcoming dreams!!

Contemplations...

For a variety of reasons, this has been a week of contemplation for me. I've pulled out a couple of my favorite books to read, and one of the books is the Tao Te Ching. I have several favorite passages, and here's one of them, Passage No. 9.

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

Good or Bad...or Maybe...

We humans certainly have a penchant for labeling and categorizing things and events.The news media always seems to rush to label events as either good or bad. In fact, they seem to be quite expert at it. But we all do it. I think that we must think that we need to put things in categories to make ourselves feel better or we think if we can categorize something it will help us function day to day better. Lately I found myself backsliding into this thinking in my own personal life. And really it's so easy to do.

So my recent backsliding made me think of one of my favorite Chinese parables about this subject.

There was a farmer whose horse ran away, so his neighbors immediately rushed over and said, "How awful that your horse ran away!", and the farmer replied, "Maybe". The next day the horse returned along with several wild horses too. The neighbors rushed over and told the farmer, "Oh what a wonderful turn of events. Now you have several horses!", and the farmer replied, "Maybe". The very next day the farmer's son tried riding one of the wild horses and fell and broke his leg. The neighbors rushed over once again and exclaimed, "Oh dear, that's too bad", and again the farmer replied, "Maybe". The following day the army conscriptionists were in the area looking to conscript men, but the farmer's son was rejected because of his broken leg. The neighbors came around again and exclaimed to the farmer, "Isn't that great?!", and the farmer once again replied, "Maybe".

It isn't that the farmer didn't care or have an opinion, he just refused to think of things in terms of gain or loss, good or bad, or advantage or disadvantage because one never knows. And quite often we really don't know how an event will eventually play out. For example, who wouldn't want to win the lottery? Winning the lottery is surely only good fortune, right? But I bet we've all heard of a lottery winner or two who later said that winning the lottery turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to them.

I think that it's important to remember that things aren't always so clear cut. In fact in my own life I think back to when I was fired from my job, and my friends and family felt just terrible for me. But at the time I was relieved. And now years later I see losing my job as a blessing in disguise. I probably would never have gone into business for myself if my safety net hadn't been removed. So for me something that seemed terrible at the time actually turned out to be something good. So it's true that quite often one never knows.

So I try to not to fall into this pattern of thinking, but I admit it can be difficult. The emphasis is on try, and that's really all any of us can do. I still get excited about seemingly good things. How can I not? And I still get disappointed too. Once again, how can I not? But when I feel myself getting caught up in reacting from one event to the next, I try to remind myself to take a step back. This may not turn out how I expect because sometimes one never really knows. Today's tragedy may turn into tomorrow's blessing.

Stuff...

Okay, it's almost October and it's about a million bazillion degrees out today! I think that we're gonna break a heat record today. And to top it off, it's a bit breezy and ordinarily the breeze helps, but it only feels like a hot wind. I would have much preferred if we set a record for a record low today. I mean how low could the record low be for late September be....50 degrees? I'll take it!

A new open air mall opened nearby called The Shops at La Cantera. La Cantera is the shee-shee hotel golf resort located across from the Shops. Mom, my sister and me went to check it out on Friday and had a nice lunch. Of course the mall was packed. So it's a million bazillion degrees, but what kinds of clothes are available in the stores? Well I need shorts and short sleeved shirts...can I buy those now? Nope. But I'm all set if I need any wool pants or a wool coat!!! Hello....this is San Antonio....it doesn't get cold enough for wool anything until Thanksgiving or sometimes not until Christmas....if even then!!!

And that brings me to my next complaint....I stopped into Lowes today and practically ran into the Christmas trees! The scary thing is that stores started putting some christmas stuff out weeks ago.I absolutely hate that. Halloween is still a month away and there's Christmas stuff out. I tell you that retailers overdo the Christmas thing and it has now turned into at least a 3 month season if not more. Last year I was so oversaturated on Christmas that I couldn't wait for it to come only so that it would be over!

And my last pet peeve for the day! So I'm standing in Lowes looking at something and I hear this very loud shuffling on the floor...it was so loud I figured it was a kid scuffing their feet along. I turn around to look and it's this woman shuffling along practically like she's cross country skiing!! I really wanted to go over and ask her why she can't pick her feet up! That foot shuffling thing has always really bothered me. Pick up your feet!!!

You might think by reading this post that I'm grouchy today, well the irony is that I've been in a really good mood all day. In fact I've been grinning practically the whole time while writing this. I've been in such a good mood that I think Sarah was wondering at work what was up with me today! Well last night I had a dream that I had sex with a celebrity and the dream was very vivid and very pleasant! I woke up in this good mood and still feel great even now. So I can only conclude that apparently dream sex can have the same effect on your mood as actual sex!! Here's for hoping for a repeat of last night....tonight!!!

Ahhh...the checks are starting to roll in...

When Sarah came over to work yesterday, I had a nice surprise for her. A nice big fat check! On Friday the company received a couple of good sized checks for some of the work that we did in late July and early August. Yipee.

So I made a big deposit into the company account and a nice deposit to the personal account. Somehow seeing the cash starting to roll in renergized me some and helped my waning motivation level.

Even Sarah couldn't burst my bubble by remarking that it was too bad that our big personal checks were already spent to pay bills. I told her that actually having the ability to pay some bills off was exciting enough for me right now and that we'll get more paychecks like these in the future which we'll be able to enjoy and save or spend.

I would love it if we can keep this pace with the incoming work. If so, my personal bills will be paid off in no time. So I'm really looking forward to our upcoming projects. And I'm hoping that we do get an opportunity to do some environmental work in New Orleans. From what I've seen and heard, there's lots of contamination to assess and later clean-up. Right now all the huge environmental companies are getting part of that work, so it would be quite a coup if our small women-owned environmental company could get a teeny tiny slice of the environmental pie. We're working on it anyway.

Sunday odds and ends....

Okay, it's late September and temperatures are still hovering near 100 degrees. I am finally worn down by the heat. I had been looking forward to September because the weather patterns here in South Texas begin to change then. Hmmm. It seems Mother Nature isn't following her handbook. Until she gets with the program, I guess I'll have to dream of cool nights and days in the 80s. That's practically sweater weather!

So I mowed the yard yesterday, and despite the heat I enjoyed it. I really like to mow the yard. It's both relaxing and enjoyable to me. I really hate to dust though, and rarely ever do it. I usually just bribe or threaten one of the boys to do it, but they won't be around forever so I need a contigency plan. I need to meet someone who likes to dust, but hates to mow the yard. Hmm, I wonder how I could advertise for that and get a taker!!!

Before I mow the yard, I need to scoop the dog poopsies that have accumulated. Theoretically this is a chore that either the boys or I keep up with daily!! NOT! With three dogs, you can imagine that the poopsies accumulate mighty fast. Luckily our backyard borders an easement for a seasonal creek which means no neighbors now or ever behind us, but lots of tall grass and trees. That makes disposing of poopsies and yard/garden clippings very convenient. If I'm keeping up with the poopsies on a daily basis, I'll walk around the yard with a shovel and scoop up some poop and walk up to the back fence and in a combination shot-put and side-arm catapult motion, I launch those poops far over the fence. I have really perfected my technique over the years and I can really fling those poops pretty far. I noticed my next door neighbors trying to emulate my over the fence technique. Hmmm yeah nice try, but I could outfling them any day! I guess if I were really neighborly I could have shown them my poop flinging technique, but I guess I'm feeling proprietary about my technique. Oh well. As you can see, this is a skill that I'm very proud of...and who knows how this skill may come in handy one day! So until the International Olympic Committee adds the Poop Put to the Olympic Games, I'll just have to be content with practicing in my backyard! Hey don't laugh either, if the Olympics can have an event where competitors twirl ribbons while doing quasi-gymnastic moves or an event that's basically shuffleboard on ice, then I think there's hope for the Poop Put! Until then, I'll keep practicing...

The Power of Words...

Remember that old kid's rhyme that goes...sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me? As kids, we were supposed to shout that at whoever called us a terrible name to show them that it didn't and couldn't bother us. In the end, those mean names did bother us though, didn't they?

You know what? I think that little adage that we all grew up with is very, very wrong. I think that words can have more power than sticks and stones any old day. Physical wounds can heal over time, but a wound inflicted with words can last a lifetime. We all wield great power with words and so we should use this power wisely. Sadly too many people use their words carelessly.

There is a wonderful flip side to this coin and as much as words have the power to destroy someone they also have the power to enrich someone. We've all experienced times when a stranger unexpectedly smiled and said hello, and in that instant, with that simple gesture, they changed our day for the better. I bet we can all think of times when we were feeling low and a friend somehow knew just what to say to brighten our day. It could have been something silly or sweet, but it was said with kindness and affection.

So we don't have to say anything fancy or complicated to make a positive impact on another. I think our words only need be kind and genuine, and spoken with sincerity.

I'm thankful to all those people that have said kind words to me over the years. I remember, perhaps not consciously, but your kind words have had a lasting effect on me nonetheless. I hope that I've returned the favor in kind.

Let's not forget the power of words.

Connections...

How is it that we form the connections that we do with the people that we do? Is it just chemistry? Is it similar personality traits? Can we make a connection happen or must it happen on its own? I'm not sure what the answers are, but it's certainly a mystery to me.

I spent a few hours at Sarah's earlier this week with Sarah and all three of her kids. I don't get to see her oldest Jones that much lately, but up until the twinklets came along I spent a good bit of time with him. He's now 18 months old and has lots of relatives in his life doting over him and I figure that I'm one of the many adults in his life. Imagine my surprise the other day when Sarah said that Jones was looking all over for me when he got up from his nap. I explained my surprise to Sarah by telling her I figured that I was just one of many adults in the crowd, and she corrected me by saying that he can and does differentiate from the people that he feels connected to and he is drawn to me. Hmmm, interesting. There's certainly no doubt that I love him, but so do the others in his life.

Sarah will be bringing the twinklets to work tomorrow. I'm starting to see the differences in Malone's and Ripley's personalities. Malone is very mellow and Ripley is a bit high maintenance. On paper one would be drawn to the more mellow Malone, but I have to admit that I am drawn to Ripley. Or as I call her, Pipper. And she is a pip! I certainly love both girls, but right now I'm especially drawn to Ripley. And I'm not really sure why.

What draws us to some and not to others? I've met people that on paper would seem that we should be great friends, yet in reality feel no connection whatsoever.

Even animals do it. One of our cats is definitely Erik's cat which for a cat to be connected to a person let alone one particular person is amazing. Whiskers absolutely adores Erik and quite literally follows him around like a puppy. His room has become her room. We now have a third dog because of this mysterious connection thing. Sam was rescued by my sister and lived with her for several months while she tried to find him a home. He's a young dog and a bit on the rambunctious side, so finding him a home was difficult. Nickolas spends a lot of time at my sister's and whenever he visited he and Sam were drawn to each other. Sam would be so excited when Nickolas arrived and Nickolas felt the same way. Finally after several months of this Nickolas asked if we could keep Sam on a trial basis. Guess what? We have a new member of the family. That dog adores Nickolas and the feeling is mutual. He even sleeps in Nickolas' room and when Nickolas goes out, he sits by the window watching and waiting for his boy. I guess connection knows no bounds.

Connecting with another soul. It's quite an amazing mystery to me.

An evening with friends...

I just returned from a very nice evening out with friends. Sarah and I took our friend Amanda out tonight for her birthday. Amanda just turned 29 and is bummed a bit that she's approaching the 'Great Abyss'! Ha, wait til she approaches 40! Sarah and I haven't seen Amanda in awhile because we've all been so busy. We went to dinner and a movie, and like we always do we had just an all around very enjoyable evening which ends with us all saying that we need to do it more often! The three of us have always just clicked, and we always enjoy spending time together no matter what we do together.

Actually about a year and a half ago, we did have a kinda steady night out which seemed to slowly peter out. And as I think about the reason why, I'd have to say it's because the demands of life got in the way. Amanda started a new job, and Sarah had a baby and so on.

That seems to be a common theme for most people nowadays. Life is so busy, so we reschedule our time with friends and family. We try to squeeze so much productivity into our lives that too often our personal relationships suffer. I think of all the people that each of us run into everyday but on a surficial and fleeting level. Do we even really pay attention to the person standing next to us in line? The answer of course is no, we're probably thinking of what's next on our to-do list.

I think in this crazy busy world that we live in having friendships and personal connections are so important. Really isn't that what life is about? Our interpersonal relationships? The people that we choose to spend time with, to give a part of ourselves to? For most of us, our memories certainly consist of the events that shaped our lives, but it's the people and relationships in our lives that tie those events and subsequent memories together.

I fear that in our hustle and bustle lives that we may forget that it's the personal connections with our fellow souls that enrich and define our lives not how many hours we work or deals that we make.

I think it's time to reinstitute our monthly girls night out...

Remembering Milda...

Since my parents arrived home from Latvia, I've been thinking about my Latvian grandmother, Milda. She died when I was 25 years old and three weeks shy of greeting her first great-grandchild whom she was eagerly awaiting. I still remember her suggestions for names, and her momentary disappointment that I didn't go with her suggestion of Manfred for a boy!! My choice was Erik a bit to her chagrin.

I fondly remember my grandmother's stories of her youth in Latvia and her many wonderful experiences as a young adult in the late 1920s and early 1930s in Riga. She was quite a storyteller, and she would tell me these stories as I lay down ready for sleep and she would lovingly stroke my arm as she would relive her memories in her mind's eye. I remember fondly her personal nickname for me which I imagine was her Latvianized version of my name. I don't know what the Latvian spelling would be, but I suppose the English phonetic spelling would be Rain-sea. That's how it sounded to me anyway with a European accent, ofcourse! My grandmother would also tell stories about my grandfather whom I never knew. It seems he had a wonderful sense of humor and was quite the practical joker which absolutely drove my grandmother crazy. I think that he must have been a good balance for my grandmother who tended to be very proper and practical. Actually they must have balanced each other very well since they sounded like opposites.

My grandmother Milda could also drive me crazy as well as my mother and sister, and did so numerous times. My grandmother spoke often how my grandfather could try her patience, but from personal experience I imagine she drove him crazy, too! Milda gave new meaning to nervousness and worrying. And when I was a teenager, her constant fretting drove me absolutely nuts. And that's one of the ironies of my grandmother's life. It seemed that any decision she had to make, no matter how small, she would fret and worry until someone would either beg or shout at her to decide or to stop worrying over the outcome once decided.

It's this pervasive personality trait of hers that makes her departure from Latvia seem so much more amazing to me. The war had ended and the Allies rewarded the Soviets for their help in defeating Hitler by letting them continue their occupation of the Baltic countries. And because my grandfather had been arrested by the Soviets, my grandmother recognized the rest of the family would not be safe. She also recognized that under Soviet rule they would have to forfeit all their property and money, and most importantly their freedom. The plan was that my grandmother, her sister Paula and family, my great-grandmother Terese as well my mother would flee Latvia before the Iron Curtain fell into place. My grandmother's sister Paula told Milda to go on ahead with my mother and great-mother because her husband was too ill to travel. So in 1945, Milda left Latvia with her mother and daughter in tow. My mom was 5 years old, her mother Milda was 39, and her grandmother was well into her 60s when they fled. Paula's husband died a short time later, but by then it was too late to leave. Milda never saw her sister Paula again. To this day, I am still in awe of my grandmother's courage and bravery to leave everything behind to start life over competely from scratch in a foreign land.

I'm not sure that my grandmother was ever completely happy here, but I do think that for the most part she was content. And I think that she had flashes of true happiness now and then. Some of her friends wound up here in America like her friend Anna and son Juris. Milda and Anna were in the same sorority at the University of Riga, if I remember correctly. Mom remembers playing with Juris as a child, and mom and Juris are friends to this day.

So mom's recent visit to Latvia brought back many fond memories of my grandmother. It still bothers me greatly to this day that she was taken from us three short weeks before Erik's arrival. Because it was only three weeks from my due date, I couldn't fly to Miami for her funeral so I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. And I think that she left this world before she was ready because there were several strange occurrences at her house for weeks which ended the day Erik was born. Although I'm not religious at all, I became a firm believer in an afterlife the day Erik was born because my grandmother visited me in my hospital room that day. I won't say any more about that but to say that it was my chance to say goodbye.

I love you Gramma and I've been missing you...

See Milda and me below...

Milda and Renee. Renee at age 5. 

Milda in 1938 at age 32. 

A case of the blahs...

I've got a bad case of the blahs today. For one, I feel like I've been run over by a truck. My throat was a bit scratchy the other day and now today my head feels foggy. I'm rarely ever sick, and I don't like being sick either. Of course I can't imagine that anyone likes to be sick so that was probably a silly statement. I don't think that I'm actually sick today, but more in that in between state where I feel like I'm dragging around and generally feeling blah. Earlier the walls felt like they were closing in on me, so I took a quick trip to Home Depot to look around a bit. I was glad to get out for a bit, but I could hardly think walking around the store. I'm home now and just laying around like a slug hoping that if I rest enough today, I won't feel this way again tomorrow.

I've been thinking lately that I have too much stuff. As I look around my house and closets, I've decided that I have just too much crap. The funny thing is many people would probably say that I don't really have that much, but it feels like it to me nonetheless. I've been thinking about this a bit and all this stuff, which at the time was fun to accumulate, now seems to be somewhat suffocating. As I'm getting older, I feel like I'm leaning more toward minimalism. I noticed that I gravitate to that design style anyway or at least a modified version. I was looking in my closet the other day thinking that I would like to give most of my clothes away. And not just clothes either. How did I accumulate so much stuff and do I need it all? The answer is of course, no.

It seems to me that all this extra stuff that I really don't need is just more to worry about and more to be attached to. I've been thinking about this really for the last few years on and off, but watching the folks displaced by the hurricane brought it into focus once again. I keep thinking about all those people that wouldn't evacuate their homes because of their stuff. That bothered me quite a bit, and it started me thinking about what I would take if I were forced to leave my house. Photographs would be number one because they represent memories as well as my grandmother's paintings of which I have several. I also have a couple of files of the boys' schoolwork and artwork that I would want. Lastly, I have a few mementos from Latvia that were either my grandmother's or my mother's. So taking a mental inventory, all of these things would fit in one or two good-sized boxes. To me these things are irreplacable. Everything else that I own I may miss if lost or destroyed, but it all can be replaced.

I'm not going to get rid of all my stuff, but I do think that I am going to start to divest myself of many of the unnecessary things that just take up space. I think that I need to purge myself of many of these things because they've come to feel like an enormous weight. I'm going to start to make an effort to move to a more minimalist lifestyle which in my mind will be very freeing. And my closet is a good place to start!

Now if I just didn't feel like such a slug today, I would start packing some clothes and things to give away to someone who will appreciate them more than me...

Ups and Downs...and Birthdays!

Well, I thought I was going to go Postal today with work. The Assessment Report that I've been working on this week takes anywhere from 25 to 30 hours to complete with about one-third of that time going to reviewing the laboratory analytical data as well as creating tables summarizing the results. It turns out that the results that the lab supplied us with last Friday were incorrect which Sarah discovered this morning. We based our preliminary verbal recommendations to our client based on those results. After frantically searching through the revised results, we learned that our original verbal recommendations were still good. However, the report which I had ready for finaling had to be redone including all six analytical tables as well as the text portions that discussed the analytical results. So Sarah and I basically redid about 8 hours worth of work. Needless to say, we'll be giving the lab an earfull. It'll work out though I'm sure...I just had to vent and I need a good night's rest and it'll be better tomorrow. Time changes things.

Speaking of time....where does it go? Sixteen years ago today, my baby Nickolas arrived on the scene. It's funny how in retrospect time seems to fly by. In my mind's eye, I can still see him as a toddler and as a little boy too. Now though he's almost an adult. He's been much bigger than me for the last few years and I no longer win arm wrestling contests with either of my boys. And yes, my boys routinely used to challenge me to arm wrestling and I could still beat Erik now and then until he was 17. It's not that Erik is weak, but I'm scrappy and stubborn! This is the beginning of Nickolas' transition to adulthood and before I know it he'll be gone and on his own. Some days like today, I miss my baby, my toddler, and my little boy, but I'll always have them in my heart and memories. And as I look at him today on the verge of independence, I can't help but be proud of the wonderful young man he has become.

Check out my real life progression photographs of my baby below...

Toddler Nickolas at 3. Where does the time go? 

How cute at 8 yrs old! 

My handsome young man....16 yrs old today. 

Wednesday....mish-mash

I started out my day this morning by getting a haircut. I like getting a haircut and I really like my hairstylist, too. She and I are about the same age, and she's been cutting my hair for six years so we've kinda gotten to know a bit about each other's lives in that time. So I usually look forward to not only a haircut, but also a nice chat. I get my hair cut every two months, so I visit with her six or seven times a year. And these last two times, she's done an absolutely fabulous job on my hair. Vanity be damned, I must say my hair is lookin' pretty good! I think it's partly because I've had her cut it a bit shorter than usual too which I think has made the difference these last few months.

Once I got home from my haircut, I had to get working on a report that I had hoped I would have had completed yesterday. Sometimes I think, writing reports is like doing home improvement projects...they always take longer than anticipated. I think it didn't help that for this project we wound up having to analyze for practically every chemical on Earth which resulted in a really large laboratory report to review and interpret. I finally finished up at about 3pm. Sarah will have the joy of reviewing and editing it tomorrow. I'm sure she can't wait!!!

The parents arrived home from their trip to Europe late this afternoon. Mom called me as the plane taxied in from the runway at around 4:30p. Surprisingly traffic wasn't too bad and I arrived at the baggage pick-up area at the terminal shortly after 5p. We threw the luggage in and off we went. No muss, no fuss. It sounds like they had a great time. It sounds like mom had some good luck finding out some information about her father's side of the family which she knows next to nothing about. She got a copy of her parent's marriage certificate at the historic Lutheran Church in Riga, and was able to find out her father's mother's maiden name which will help track family relations. She took the information to the Latvian Red Cross which helps people search for family separated during WWII. It was the Red Cross that was able to find out what had happened to her father during the war when the Soviets marched in to occupy the Baltic countries. Five years ago while on one of her trips to Latvia, the Red Cross gave mom several found documents which indicated that her father was arrested by the Soviets as a spy. He was a lawyer and he worked high up in the Latvian govt. and was an outspoken pro-capitalist. He was convicted and sent to a gulag in one of the Soviet Muslim states in 1942. He died that same year in the gulag. He was 36 years old, and my mother was 2 years old. My grandmother's family that remained in Latvia under Soviet rule lost touch with my grandfather's family almost immediately and really for self-preservation purposes. Anyone feared being associated with a person labeled as a spy for fear that they would be arrested by the Soviets as well. Apparently one of my grandfather's brothers was also sent to a Soviet gulag, but he survived and was released at some point. Essentially though, my grandmother's family that stayed in Latvia destroyed any photos, books, or other mementos relating to my grandfather out of fear, so much was lost. It's a terrible shame, and my mother feels that a good part of her heritage as well as her life was taken from her. Don't get me wrong, my mom would say that she's had a wonderful life here, but she has questions and pieces are missing from her life. I just know that there are others to find there or maybe some wound up here in America or Canada. I would love to see her unravel the mystery to find other relatives somewhere in Latvia or elsewhere. It's my heritage too.

Tuesday...this and that

Like many people, I spent a bit of time this weekend watching the continuing hurricane coverage and I found myself practically in tears several times. And judging from the coverage this weekend, the finger pointing has begun in earnest as to who dropped the ball as far as emergency contingency plans and rescue operations. From what I can tell, there's plenty of blame to go around and despite what the Mayor of New Orleans is screaming the blame begins at the city level and extends all the way up to the highest reaches of the federal level. So why didn't the city itself have a better Emergency Contingency Plan? It appears that the city hadn't even considered the possiblility of being hit with a Category 4 or 5 hurricane, and therefore had no contingency plan for evacuating its citizens. Bah...enough of that. I do think at the appropriate time...which is not now...this disaster should be studied to learn how to avoid a similar catastrophe in the future. One thing was certainly apparent though from this disaster. What if this had been a terrorist attack of the same magnitude which would have required a large-scale evacuation? It's scary to even think about.

We, meaning my environmental consulting company, got some news this morning that I have mixed feelings about. It seems that we're going to have the opportunity to provide environmental investigation and assessment services in New Orleans once all the initial clean-up is completed. On one hand, we appreciate any opportunity for work since our company is still so young, but on the other hand I'm not thrilled that this opportunity is as a result of such a catastrophe which adversely affected so many lives. I realize though that we provide an important service, so if we can identify areas of suburface contamination that need to be cleaned up, then I guess we will have contributed in some small way.

Before any rebuilding takes place within the city, I think that there needs to be some discussion as to the feasibility of rebuilding in some of the more flood sensitive areas. Let's face it, all of New Orleans was constructed on the Mississippi Delta which is nothing more than a huge flood plain. With the emphasis on FLOOD Plain! Human resourcefulness and ingenuity are generally wonderful things, but too often our ingenuity can result in a certain amount of arrogance concerning Mother Nature. I think that some of that human arrogance is in evidence with the city of New Orleans. The city was built on a delta and a good portion of the city is below sea level, so to maximize the human occupation and usage of the delta, levees were built to keep the flood waters out. At the same time, engineers decided that the natural geological processes of the Mississippi interferred with commerce and shipping at the mouth of the river. So the Army Corp of Engineers decided to channelize a good portion of the river near the mouth and beyond, and began dumping sediment farther out and deeper into the Gulf rather than letting natural geological processes create natural barrier islands and/or deposit the sediment along the coastline which would add material to the delta. In the last several years, the Mississippi Delta has undergone lots of erosion as a result of human interference with the natural depositional processes. Barrier islands provide protection to the natural coastline during storm events and barrier islands would have helped protect New Orleans to a degree. How much is uncertain, but any little bit would have helped. Additionally, a healthy coastline consisting of lots of natural sand dunes and sea grasses in front of the levee system would have also provided some protection to the levee system. How much protection is not known, but any little bit would have helped.

The point is that our interference with natural geologic processes as well as our insistence to live along coastlines prone to flooding and other natural disasters are in direct conflict. People who insist on continuing to live in these areas need to be educated to the fact that despite what engineers may say, Mother Nature cannot be conquered...she will always rule supreme. I love the coastline myself and would consider living there, but I also recognize the risk. At some time in the future, it is possible that another catastrophic hurricane will hit New Orleans and the city will flood and people will lose their homes and some their lives. This needs to be made clear to those that insist on living in such areas. Hurricanes and flooding are a fact of life.

I'd like to see us move to working in harmony with natural processes rather than trying to overcome and conquer natural processes. Citizens need to be made aware of the risks of living in a coastal environment. Complacency and the over-reliance on technology to protect lives and property during a natural disaster also need to be examined. In fact, look at how many folks were so attached to their property that they refused to leave at all despite being surrounded by contaminated flood water. In flood prone areas, protect citizens as best as possible and have a good workable emergency contigency plan which includes an evacuation plan in the event that protective measures are not enough. And there will come another time whether it's New Orleans or another city where protective measures will not be enough. Food for thought....I'll step off my soap box now...or in my case...my rock...

What took them so long?

At the risk of sounding like a Monday Morning Quarterback, I want to know too...what took our government so long to get into the heart of New Orleans to render aid? Like many Americans, I've been watching the coverage since the hurricane and watching those people stranded with no food or water or bathrooms or medical care for days just boggles the mind and breaks my heart. FEMA is an agency specifically set up to go into natural disasters such as this one, so what happened?

The news coverage put in me tears all day today. I can't imagine the frustration and desperation those people are feeling. And watching our President trying to comfort hurricane victims in Biloxi left me with a sour taste. Those people need real and immediate help, not a hug and a kiss from the President.

Despite the government's lackluster response, it was very heartwarming to see the overwhelming and speedy response of American citizens, businesses, and aid organizations rally to render aid. It seems that many local governments have been quicker to respond to this tragedy than our own federal government. My own city stepped up to the plate. Like many people, I've sent in donations and hope that the money and supplies get to where they need to be as quickly as possible. My sister, a foster parent, offered to take in a couple of displaced foster kids from New Orleans, but state to state red tape is impeding the process. What will those kids do while the states work out the paperwork?

I, like many people, don't understand how the richest country on Earth which can mobilize a military operation overnight can't mobilize a rescue operation overnight as well. The finger pointing has started already and this issue will and should be studied until we're sure this will not be repeated for the next disaster. I am not a fan of our news media at all, but in this case I hope the news coverage has embarrassed the powers that be enough to get their asses moving and get those people out of there. What a boondoggle of epic proportions.

Let's hope that the pressure stays on our government until every soul is out of there and accounted for. When all is said and done, at a minimum the citizens of New Orleans and Biloxi deserve some answers as well as an apology from the President. Until then, I'll continue to hope and pray for a speedy resolution to this nightmare.

I spoke too soon...

Yikes....I spoke too soon about it being an easy, breezy work day today. It was busy and hectic, and we had the twinklets today too. And Brad was here most of the day, too. So I told Sarah that with Brad over too it was like having three babies at work today!

As Sarah and I were loading up the car to go to the copy place and lunch, Brad happened to ask right as I was snapping the second baby in the car if there was anything that he could do to help. I don't remember what exactly I said, but he immediately replied that I was pretty heavy on the sarcasm. No Really?! Anyhow, he's not much help with the girls anyway, so it's usually best for him to stay out of the way.

One day I asked Sarah if she thought that Brad was maybe one of those guys that half-asses things on purpose so that he won't be asked to do certain things again. If I remember correctly, she snorted and giggled and said that if that were the case then he must not want to do anything then! Hmmm. She may have a point, but I think that he really doesn't want to do anything unless he gets something out of it.

Mom called from Estonia this morning. Apparently she and dad are on a side trip and saw the news about Hurricane Katrina...and wanted to make sure that we weren't affected also. I figured that it would be a really quick call because while my mom was excited that she got a cell phone set up to take calls in Europe, she must have told me a bazillion times that the calls were 50 cents a minute. So the translation is that I wasn't to call her on it unless someone was in the hospital or the house burned down. So I was a might bit surprised that she seemed to want to chat a bit and hear how Bogey was faring and such. I felt myself speaking with an economy of words and quickly too. Then to totally throw me off, she began musing on how clear the cell connection was from Estonia to San Antonio...after I put my eyes back in my head from surprise...I replied that the satellite must be in a good position. At that point the phone began to crackle and then mom replied as I expected and made mention of the 50 cents a minute and blah, blah time to go. The funny thing is that we couldn't have talked more than 4 or 5 minutes. I think the $2 isn't going to ruin their trip to Europe!

Speaking of the hurricane, what a terrible tragedy. San Antonio is now hosting many of the storm's refugees and it looks like many of them may be here for the remainder of the year. The Humane Society of New Orleans also sent several animals here for adoption whose owners gave up to save them from the storm. Wow what courage and love that must have taken to give up a beloved pet to most likely never see again. It made me want to go adopt one of the displaced pets....but with three dogs and two cats of my own...well I just can't take anymore right now as much as I would like too. I figure in my old age, I'll be the eccentric old lady with a huge yard and lots of pets to talk to and keep me company as well as keep the neighbors entertained with my eccentric ways! Thankfully I didn't have to fret over those displaced animals for long because San Antonians adopted nearly all of them the first day. I wish it were that easy for people.